Am I asking for to much?

As I sit here knowing what I am capable of, and if I really want to make something happen I will. Not thinking about consequences, sacrifices, or priorities! Especially when it is something I really want (keyword WANT) so why do I feel like I could probably loose more then I would gain? When did that even matter and why do I feel so guilty instead of overwhelmed with joy!! Who is this person and where did she come from?? See I have been planning a trip to venture deeper into my artistic skills by entering the Texas Body Painting Festival. If there is a will there is a way, but my subconscious kept whispering the realities to me…. you can’t afford it, the money u put into this trip could be used more responsibly, your going to dig yourself a deeper hole!! I try to ignore it but I get a courtesy call today to inform me I have another financial obligation that needs to be taken care of asap!! At this point I’m upset and just need some time to get my thoughts together and not focus on what I want to do but what I know I should do… Still fighting my free spirited way of life I see a note from my boss (who totally supported my decision) that had some kind words and instructions of things I needed to do while she was away and all of a sudden the fight was over. I knew I had to show her that working for her and being at the Studio was more important then the competition and a day at the beach. See at the end of the day I knew I had no business going when I had so many other things that I couldn’t keep putting off without repercussions that could have a domino effect of consequences from that one decision. That means all the hard work, time, and money would be a waste. I am sadden by the fact I will not be entering this contest but I am also very proud of myself for not being selfish and irresponsible by making the right choice. I have come so far to loose it over trying to prove to myself I have talent!! I know I have talent and I know if I had the time and money to enter comfortably I would do great. Preparation gets you thru the process…. I guess my point is I won the battle once again!! Triumphant in this thing I call my life…. yours truly Gina Marie.

Author: Life Confessions

my name is Gina and I have decided to try and make sense of some of my madness and hope that it can inspire or help someone else thru this thing we call life. While using this as an outlet to express myself and put some of my thoughts in a safe place. so please excuse my random thoughts unless you can make use out of them…. then carry on use as many as you would like!!

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