I sit here with my stomach in knots trying to convince myself that I’m not hurt Bc I know That I am gambling with my heart every time I let you back in my life. Hoping that this time could be our chance to have the happily ever after I so desperately desire. See I’ve been hurt over and over again and seem to make excuses, justify, and tell myself he never intentionally tries to hurt me, but somehow I always end up in some predicament where I let the sweet nothings and baby this and baby that or I’m sorry baby…. wiping my tears using his sophisticated charming communication skills to make his actions seem honestly just misunderstanding or his way of protecting me from hurting, and when you love someone your blinded and feed into his every word. Time after time I allow him to make it seem like I’m the crazy selfish spoiled childish one who just over react instead of understanding his reasoning. How many times am I supposed to allow him to continue to break my heart a little more every time. Honestly see I sit here and point the finger saying all he does is hurt me yet the truth of the matter is at the end of the day I am the one causing myself pain by allowing him back in knowing that u can’t keep putting yourself in the same situation and expect a different outcome especially when the situation itself has not changed. You have to change the situation to change the outcome. You can hope, pray, wish or even dream of what you want to be the reality of the life you want to live with him but a dream will always be a dream without not only action but them wanting it as much as yourself. If not then you have to wake up and accept the fact that no matter what they say if their actions do not reflect his words then it’s time to let go!! It’s going to suck and it’s going to hurt but time heals all. Then one day that person you were so madly in love with will be just a memory and your heart healed!! Lol but being the hopeless romantic I can’t promise you won’t put your heart in another mans hands to be hurt again….
Some’ll say life is a gamble, which means love is a casino. Everybody just playin’ to win, think I made again. Though many ladies pretend, hoping this ain’t what it is -Kevin Gates