I once read that when you hit thirty something strange happens due to striving to become successful in whichever field our heart desires. It also opens yours eyes to look at life in a more in depth perspective. Making the right decision comes more automatic with no second guessing, the people u choose to interact with, prioritizing so I can stay focused on my long term goals, and most importantly never compromise or sacrifice becoming the best you can be in your field or work!! I never really had much work ethic or took pride in my jobs when I was younger (who am I kidding ok until my late 20’s) as you all know I was a late bloomer; very late bloomer. I try not to judge specifically for that reason alone, but now it seems like Bc I’m so dedicated to my career and give 110% I feel like I get even more shit. And not just about working to much, but still working on perfecting my skills off the clock. I would have never guessed in a million years I would be dealing with having to choose between my career or my personal life!!! Why should I even have too? Just like ASAP says “Started from the bottom now I’m here. ” is exactly what I had to do!! Fyi and I still have a long way to go. 😫. Now I am always upsetting someone due to work obligations!! I have never been able to relate those people who bask in their work single with no kids taking in all the dough. I do know that I won’t stop til I’m satisfied and can live comfortably and surround myself with like minded people. Like I was saying that strange thing as Sophia Amoruso described as the friend churn…. when I read it I really didn’t think it would happen to me but I am sadden to admit it has begun. Life is too short and my dreams way too big to let any distractions interfere with what I have worked so hard for. I wish I could prevent this inevitable occurrence but I know it is apart of the growing process. I can’t predict the future and I’m ok with that! Everything happens for a reason ao if it is meant to be it will be and if it isn’t then the show must go on!!!
I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING FROM HERE BUT I PROMISE IT WONT BE BORING
As I sit here knowing what I am capable of, and if I really want to make something happen I will. Not thinking about consequences, sacrifices, or priorities! Especially when it is something I really want (keyword WANT) so why do I feel like I could probably loose more then I would gain? When did that even matter and why do I feel so guilty instead of overwhelmed with joy!! Who is this person and where did she come from?? See I have been planning a trip to venture deeper into my artistic skills by entering the Texas Body Painting Festival. If there is a will there is a way, but my subconscious kept whispering the realities to me…. you can’t afford it, the money u put into this trip could be used more responsibly, your going to dig yourself a deeper hole!! I try to ignore it but I get a courtesy call today to inform me I have another financial obligation that needs to be taken care of asap!! At this point I’m upset and just need some time to get my thoughts together and not focus on what I want to do but what I know I should do… Still fighting my free spirited way of life I see a note from my boss (who totally supported my decision) that had some kind words and instructions of things I needed to do while she was away and all of a sudden the fight was over. I knew I had to show her that working for her and being at the Studio was more important then the competition and a day at the beach. See at the end of the day I knew I had no business going when I had so many other things that I couldn’t keep putting off without repercussions that could have a domino effect of consequences from that one decision. That means all the hard work, time, and money would be a waste. I am sadden by the fact I will not be entering this contest but I am also very proud of myself for not being selfish and irresponsible by making the right choice. I have come so far to loose it over trying to prove to myself I have talent!! I know I have talent and I know if I had the time and money to enter comfortably I would do great. Preparation gets you thru the process…. I guess my point is I won the battle once again!! Triumphant in this thing I call my life…. yours truly Gina Marie.